The isolated childhood

I love the first day of school. It is a hopeful day. From Lydia’s early school years, I’ve been struck by the sense of unadulterated excitement and energy that rises from the schoolyard as friends see each other after long weeks away. A new community is being created. Some children and teachers are missed – they have gone different ways – and others are new.

To be sure, the first day of school is a many-layered thing and not everybody loves it, but there is something almost magical about it. Kids need to spend time with other kids, be together, work together, learn from each other and from their teachers. At least, that is how things ought to be. Their teachers may be nervous, their parents may shed bittersweet tears, but kids find where they belong and that is a wonderful thing.

Matthew 18:3 tells us to be like little children. These words can be taken in different ways, but I suggest that we, as adults, should all strive to become a community, get together and learn from each other. Is it that hard?

Yes, apparently it is that hard.

It is not our culture, especially in the West, to admit that we need others. We have individualized everything. Parenting is seen as an individual responsibility, encumbered with all kinds of safety and liability issues (as so much else is), rather than a communal challenge. I think that needs to change.

Parent playdate

Although I did not love leaving the house as a kid, I still hung out on the neighbourhood streets and visited other kids. As a parent, I’ve found that playdates for Lydia are hard to make happen. As a consequence, since Lydia has few playmates, I’ve spent many hours playing Paw Patrol with her, finding ways for

Mayor Humdinger to steal vehicles so that Skye and her teammates could set things right. I do it for her sake, but there is something unnatural about it.

Kids have become wrapped up in their parents’ lives. Studies show that teenagers are increasingly drawing inward, developing minimal reading or conversation skills and spending their time alone in their rooms texting friends.

Relationships are paramount in our culture, but we do not live in a community-oriented world. Paw Patrol is an example. The Canadian kids’ show may be cute and endearing, but its promise of instant rescue by teamwork is razor-thin, and moreover, its entire entertainment concept is geared towards selling toys and merch. (Thankfully, Brenda found almost all our stuff second-hand).

Naming the problem

Let’s face it. Something is not right about Western culture, and our children are affected. The (relative) innocence of the schoolyard still exists, but even older children know there is an issue; they have a flawless sense for insincerity. Our culture gives assurances of mutual support that are not credible. These are things no teacher can remedy.

The world is not a safe place. The dominant age group – that’s us – knows that, but has no clear idea what to do about it. Even worse, we hardly even name that a problem exists.

It would be presumptuous to say that I have answers, but I know that the gospel does. I also know that our flawed churches, educational systems and media still have healthy elements that we can draw from. But if we pretend we can simply hold on to what already exists, we fool ourselves. Our children deserve better from us.