Get outside and play

My children take risks, and that’s all right with me.

Risky play, or what we lovingly call danger play in our house, is an incredibly important part of childhood. While it can be difficult for a parent to watch, the thrill of it allows children to feel excited by their accomplishments and challenged by the process. Plus, they learn how to be confident and healthy problem-solvers.

It’s important to point out that risky play will not look the same for every family, or even every child in the same family. For example, for my oldest, who is 10, danger play often involves climbing trees and play structures and jumping off them. My seven-year-old is more likely to engage in wrestling and sword fighting. And for my three-year-old, danger play is often more vicarious, as she watches her brothers play or rides along when we go on family bike rides. She also loves to climb things (with supervision), but, thankfully, she does not jump off – yet – unless we are actively helping her down.

If risky play looks different for different people, what exactly is it? The Canadian Pediatric Society’s (CPS) report on “Healthy childhood development through outdoor risky play: Navigating the balance with injury prevention,” describes eight main types. First, there is playing at height, which is climbing trees, jumping on things, or walking across balance beams. The second category is playing at speed, which includes running, cycling, or sledding. Then there is playing with dangerous elements like learning how to set a fire or playing near one, or playing in and around water. The fourth category is playing with tools like hammers and axes. The fifth category is rough-and-tumble play, which is where wrestling and sword fighting come in. Then there is impact play, where kids get a thrill from crashing into something or someone over and over again. For example, my daughter loves it when we pick her up and throw her onto the bed. The seventh type is exploration play. This happens when children are given the chance to explore a park, forest or neighbourhood without adult supervision, or with limited supervision. When your toddler crawls under a bush in your yard and giggles when you pretend you can’t see their toes, they are engaging in exploration play. The final type of danger play is vicarious play. This is the thrill your children feel when they watch Olympic athletes compete or other children jump off the diving board or race around the track.

Mitigating the risks

With the exception of vicarious play, all of these activities involve some element of risk. However, as outdoor adventurer Lindsay Ness points out, just because something can be dangerous doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. As an avid climber and hiker, Ness takes her children on hikes and climbs rock faces with them.

“Kids are just natural born little climbers; they want to climb on everything,” Ness said. “And you can do it in safe parameters. Like if a kid is climbing up on a shelf or something that is dangerous, you take them off and you remove them and put them in a new situation.”

The difference between climbing shelves and climbing rockfaces highlights the importance of determining whether or not an activity is dangerous because of risks or because of hazards, which the CPS defines as two separate things. A risk is something a child can recognize as a challenge or problem, and for which they can create a plan to mitigate the issue. For example, when we take our children bouldering, they can look at the holds and height and decide on their own how high they are willing to go and what path they want to take to get there. A hazard, on the other hand, is something that is beyond a child’s ability to recognize as a danger. This is where the toppling shelf comes in, or, for an older child, a rotten branch in the tree they want to climb.

As parents, even if we are comfortable allowing our children to engage in risky play, we still need to assess for hazards. And if there are hazards present, we need to either find a safer alternative for the danger play, or explain to our children why this particular activity is a no-go.

“We’re actually blunt about risk, too,” said Ness. “I don’t sugarcoat things. If we are in a dangerous situation, say we’re up on a bluff or something and there’s a cliff, I will say: If you fall down, you will get hurt, you could possibly die. Kids actually need to know that. They need to be aware of those consequences because there’s no safety net in life.”

However, if our assessment determines that the issue is a risk, not a hazard, then it’s important for us to step back and avoid rescuing our children when they don’t need help.

Besides being a lot of fun, risky play is beneficial in so many ways.

Physical literacy

Risky play improves a child’s physical literacy because most types of danger play involve physical activities, and physical literacy simply means the ability to engage in physical activities. The Canadian Sports for Life Society says high physical literacy is important for both children and adults because it reduces the chances of getting injured. Learning to use your body in different ways allows you to adjust when you encounter hazards, such as ice or uneven surfaces and it strengthens bones and muscles.

Builds confidence

Because risky play involves encountering and overcoming challenges, it also boosts a child’s self-confidence. “When they are able to achieve little goals, like being able to climb up a rock wall, it’s amazing what it does for their self-confidence,” said Ness. And that self-confidence translates to other challenges and circumstances they may face.

Risk assessment

Risky play puts children in situations where they need to assess and manage risks, sometimes with the help of their parents. You don’t need to point out all of the risks and how to overcome them, but you can, like Allison Ball does, ask them if they have a plan to get back down if they’ve climbed up high, or ask if it feels safe. “I want them to trust their own instincts, instead of waiting for someone to tell them if it’s okay to play.”

It also means that you may need to explain the hazards. “If I see a tree branch is definitely not strong enough to hold their weight, I’m going to tell them,” Ball said. “I’m going to be like, look at this tree, it’s a young tree, it’s not strong enough. And I show them how to find out if a tree branch looks rotten. I show them how to look at it and assess it.”

Problem-solving skills

One of my favourite memories is of my oldest son trying to climb a tree with a friend. It was a big tree, and they were too short to reach the lowest branches. When my friend and I reiterated that we would not lift them up to something they could not climb on their own, they walked back to the tree and began to plot. First, they brought the stroller over and tried to use it as a ladder, but quickly realized it would tip. Then they spent time trying to find something to support the stroller so they could use it to reach the branch. They were not successful in their endeavour (that day), but they tried different strategies for about half an hour.

Regulates emotions

I remember once hearing that when a child is upset you need to “put them in water or take them outside.” That’s great advice because both of those activities offer the chance to get them active – even if it’s only splashing in the tub. Multiple studies have shown that engaging in active play helps improve kids’ moods. As a parent of three, I can anecdotally tell you that active play doesn’t just improve moods in the moment. The effect lasts a while.

Helps deal with anxiety

The CPA points out that danger play also helps children learn to cope with anxiety. “Risky play helps facilitate children’s exposure to fear-provoking situations, providing them with opportunities to experiment with uncertainty, associated psychological arousal, and coping strategies, which can significantly reduce children’s risk for elevated anxiety.”

Encourages health

Finally, risky play helps children be healthier. For more than a decade, study after study has shown that there’s a connection between being outside and having a more robust immune system. Since so many types of danger play happen outside, children get this benefit when they engage in this type of activity. But that’s not the only way it helps them be healthier. Because so much of danger play is active, it helps develop cardiovascular fitness, strength, flexibility, and bone density, on top of maintaining a healthy weight.

For those who are curious, between Ness, Ball and me, only one of our children has ever broken a bone. The child was mine, and he was not engaged in danger play at the time. He was heading back to the school building when another child tripped coming off a play structure and landed on him. Which just goes to show that we can’t risk-proof our children from everything, but we can help them build confidence, learn their limits, and provide a safe and secure place to grow and push beyond those barriers. So, the next time you are at the park and your child – or someone else’s – is doing something you are uncomfortable with, wait a minute and assess whether it’s dangerous because of risks or hazards, ask what their plan is, and pause before you step in and rescue the child before they need rescuing.