Joseph, first-time dad

“The angels explained things to Joseph after he’d talked to Mary, not before. Be patient when you don’t understand.” 

– Bob Goff, Live in Grace, Walk in Love (389) 

He’s usually in the background. If the kids in your church are putting on a nativity play, it’s one of the minor roles. He might lead the donkey; maybe he asks the innkeeper a question or two, but he’s a supporting character at best. This guy is never front and centre in the Christmas story. Most of the time, it seems like he’s just along for the ride.

I’m talking about Joseph, of course. The father of Jesus. The Prince of Peace’s foster dad, who doesn’t even get to name his firstborn son. I have so many questions about their relationship, and Jesus’ growing-up years. Did Joseph love wrinkled newborn Jesus right away? Or did his love grow slowly, over time, as Jesus learned to say Abba and reached out his arms to be picked up? How close in age were all the siblings? Did the other kids know his birth story? 

We don’t know whether Joseph was still alive when Jesus began his ministry. Where was Joseph when his nephew John was arrested and imprisoned? When crowds started following his son, begging for healing? When Jesus made a connection to a group of kids (and annoyed the disciples), were there echoes of his own happy childhood – a good memory of being taken care of, of feeling loved by his dad? 

We don’t know. None of the gospel writers tells us. But we do have clues that speak to Joseph’s character and to his ability to parent the son of God. Was he ready for that task? Probably not. I’m not sure any young couple is – even with every Diaper Genie and Babywise sleep schedule in the world! But Bob Goff points out one really interesting thing about Joseph’s timeline: the angel’s explanation came later. After Joseph had already made some pretty tough decisions.

Righteous 

“This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about,” Matthew writes (1:18). “His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.” 

The footnote in my NIV Bible says that a Jewish betrothal was a binding relationship that could only be broken by divorce. Joseph, “chagrined but noble” in The Message’s translation, “determined to take care of things quietly so that Mary would not be disgraced.”

If Joseph had followed the law of the prophets as laid out in Deuteronomy 22, he could have had Mary stoned. Instead, he saves her life and the life of her unborn child by separating quietly. Think about that for a minute. If his feelings were hurt, if his heart was broken by what must have seemed like a betrayal, we are not told. There’s no drama mentioned in this part of the story – Joseph acts honourably and in Mary’s best interests. A Jewish mensch, even in a complicated, unwelcome set of circumstances. Before he understands the miracle. 

“But after he had considered this” – the divorce, that is – “an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus’” (Matt. 1:20-21). 

Can you imagine how Joseph felt then? The God in whom he had put his trust said that he could marry after all. And there were clear directions on what to do next. Well, on the immediate future, anyway – the baby’s gender, and a pretty firm name recommendation. All those meanings of his baby son’s name – God saves, God with us – I wonder how much of that Joseph absorbed then. Maybe an inkling came later, after losing teenage Jesus in Jerusalem. 

For now, in his first act as a dad, Joseph does as the angel commanded: he marries Mary and names the baby Jesus. And because he seems to make a habit of listening for the voice of God in his life, he gets another angelic message later on, which saves the young family’s life (for Mary and Jesus, a second time). 

Joseph is usually in the background. In a Christmas pageant, he’s a supporting character at best. Most of the time, it seems like he’s just along for the ride. He doesn’t even get a mention in Hebrews 11, that litany of the faithful. 

But Joseph trusted in God as completely as Enoch, as Noah, as Sarah, as Moses. He makes a series of remarkable decisions without much information. By faith, he chose to save the life of his wife rather than condemn her to judgment and death. By faith, he trusted in a God he could not see. By faith, he raised a son that he did not beget. 

It would be so much easier to know. But when we, like Joseph, are in seasons of not-knowing, may we receive enough light to walk ahead anyway, by faith. Trusting in a God that we cannot see. And, if we’re lucky, holy explanation will come later. 

This editorial appeared at New Leaf Network.