I am so sorry

You may not know me or remember this, but, to my knowledge, I am the only former Banner editor who got in front of an entire Christian Reformed Church (CRC) Synod to publicly apologize. I said I was sorry for allowing two articles in quick succession that many readers judged to have gone over the line. One article asked serious confessional questions that the author believed we need to face. Another wondered if our present posture towards unmarried couples who live together before marriage was what Jesus would want.

I told Synod I was sorry. I said I was not sorry for raising those issues in The Banner but for the way in which I had done that. I was sorry for causing unnecessary offense. Synod forgave me, prayed over me, and sent me on my way rejoicing.

To be honest, I was not at all surprised. I trusted my denomination and its leaders to be Christlike, and they were.

I was confident of that because I had run into something quite similar earlier on. When Synod 2004 appointed me as Banner editor, there were many delegates who had some serious concerns about my views on some sensitive issues and voiced them openly on the floor. They referenced an editorial I had written a month earlier when I was still just “Acting Editor.” In that editorial I suggested what might be our best response to the government legalizing same-sex unions. They did not appreciate that editorial. But because they were reassured of my love for Jesus, the Scriptures, the Reformed confessions, Reformed church polity and our denomination, I received Synod’s overwhelming endorsement. And except for that one hiccup I mentioned earlier, I was given enough trust and leeway to serve in that position for over a decade.

Did all the saints love my work? Not by a long shot! I was often told that many an issue of The Banner was suitable only for the bottom of the bird cage. I get that. But we always found each other.

Editors are human, too

Here is one example: I wrote an editorial once about the very sad story of a woman in Florida who was showing minimal signs of consciousness after a serious accident. Her boyfriend wanted her to be taken off life support. Her parents did not. After the situation really went south, the courts had to intervene and ultimately decide.

My reason for raising this issue was not to add my own personal opinion to the myriads of those who had already weighed in one way or another. It was something quite different. I wanted to point out how important it is for all of us adults to have a living will that tells our loved ones what we would wish to happen if such a situation suddenly overtook us. That would go a long way to preventing such a horrible situation.

I received a letter from a Banner reader who had expected me to forcefully come out swinging for protecting human life. I didn’t. That made him mad enough to begin his letter, “You pusillanimous b______, may you rot in hell.” The letter ended: “P.S. I want you to come to my hometown so I can personally spit in your face.”

I sent him a letter back inviting him to send me a follow-up letter stating his concern in language that might make it easier for me to respond appropriately.

He did and he did a fine job of it. In response, I sent him my reasons for not doing what he had expected.

I received a letter back which began: “Dear Brother in Christ, please forgive me from the heart.”

It ended: “I do want you to come to my hometown so that I can treat you to dinner at my favourite Thai restaurant.”

Back then we could get heated with each other, but, in Christ, we could find each other and move on together.

The spirit of the age?

All this to say how sorry I am. I am sorry that we cannot do that anymore in the CRC. There is a different spirit within this denomination that has little to do with whether we agree or disagree on a number of issues. It is a spirit that causes anger, bitterness, division, judgmentalism and frustration. It is a spirit that now forces us to separate from each other. This is not the fruit of Christ’s Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23). And, as Jesus warns, “By their fruit you will recognize them” (Matt. 7:16).

My aging brain cannot believe that this is from God – certainly not from the God whom I have been blessed to preach and teach about in the CRC for over a half-century.

Why must one issue on which we disagree force my denomination and its classes and churches to split? Why so quickly? If we really trust that God’s Spirit will lead us into all the truth (John 16:13), do we have to insist that the Spirit does so in our self-imposed, impossibly narrow timeframe?

I firmly believe that “maintain[ing] the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:3) trumps the CRC synod’s enforcement of what it includes in the term “unchastity.” That’s not how we should “do church” in the twenty-first century. I deplore such coercion. I pray for a renewed Spirit in which we can honour each other’s beliefs and do so with respect, patience, and love.

And for that I am not the least bit sorry.