Building trust in real time

Jonathan Boone is vice principal at Vernon Christian School and a frequent Christian Courier writer. As discussions about parental rights continue to unfold in our communities this school year, we reached out to Jonathan to talk about some of the underlying issues – trust, justice and healthy communication.

Christian Courier: What topics in your courses are the most likely to generate questions from parents?

Jonathan Boone: The vast majority have been around sexuality and Indigenous rights, and a few times about Islam or current events. In other words, most often the conversation is about people groups who are seen as “the other” and appear to be a distinct group separate from “us.”

CC: How often do parents come in to discuss what you’re teaching? Once a year?

Boone: Way more often if you include phone calls, emails and hallway conversations. It goes in waves. Sometimes months go by with nothing, and all of a sudden it’s not just raining, it’s pouring. But, to be clear, many parents are supportive. They encourage their children to wrestle with hard questions and express this to their teachers. Then, of course, there are other parents who you do not hear from, so you simply assume they are content with what is going on.

CC: What’s a best-case scenario? If a parent was concerned about something that their student was learning, how should that conversation unfold?

Boone: Great question. I always try to encourage parents (and students) to reach out directly to the teacher they have the concern with. I try to encourage parents to ask clarifying questions and seek to build an understanding, rather than simply relying on their child’s account of what was said or done in the classroom. It’s helpful to know what happened or what was said in class, rather than making assumptions or accusations. Social media makes it easier for disgruntled parents to only share their concerns with each other in an echo chamber, rather than speaking directly to the teacher.

The best questions for a parent to ask are: “Can you tell me what resource you’re using?”; “Can you help me understand what your targets are with this lesson?”; “Help me to understand why you brought in this particular guest speaker or showed that film or made this comment.” Now it’s a conversation. Let’s clarify rather than accuse. To be clear, it’s also good practice for a teacher to let parents know that there may be controversial elements to a course or unit, whether that is literature, film, articles, a guest speaker or a field trip. Most parents appreciate this. I’ve certainly not always done this consistently over the years, which created its own problems for me as a teacher. It’s always better to prevent issues by being proactive, rather than reactive. And of course, when a teacher does make mistakes, they need to be humble and apologize as needed. I’ve had to do this many times over the years! This is important in building trust between home and school.

CC: Have you noticed any changes in your 26 years of teaching in the communication lines between parents and teachers?

Boone: I’m not a person who looks at the past as the good old days. But yes, I would say so. When I started my career, parents were more likely to say: “We may not like the teacher. We may not even trust the teacher, but he is part of the institution that we support and trust. It was here before him. It’ll be here after him. He’s just part of it for now. We trust the institution.” There’s growing anti-institutionalism in our Christian circles, coupled with rising libertarianism and poor public discourse that risks damaging our schools and, really, all our relationships. I lament this.

CC: What are some of the good ways you’ve seen schools build parent-teacher relationships?

Boone: Celebrations of Learning, hosting sporting events and concerts, and simply working hard to have an “open door” for parents. This encourages them to not just pick up their student and drive off, but to come in and see what we do. It’s so easy to dehumanize people you don’t know. Schools have to be very intentional about opening up their doors, not just to showcase and fundraise but actually to build community and trust. As much as I want to stay home and be the introvert that I am, I know that trust is built in real time, one healthy conversation at a time.  

CC: Why do you keep covering hard topics in class if it makes so much more work for you as a teacher?

Boone: Because a good Christian education is not a safe education. In age-appropriate ways, it has to challenge the status quo in our churches, in the classroom, in our homes and in our communities. If we don’t challenge the status quo, then we live in a world where might makes right and justice will not prevail; it will not flow like streams. It will not roll down like a river. It just won’t and those on the margins will continue to be marginalized. We have to call out injustice that we may be blind to, or even perpetuating. Nobody killed Jesus because he was a nice guy. In age-appropriate ways, when a kid walks out of my classroom they have to wrestle with “how now shall I live?” And if they don’t, I have failed. I hope that echoes what their homes are doing and what their churches are doing too. When we work together as church-home-school in this way, I am confident the Kingdom of God advances.