Bequeathing memories

It is a good habit, even a spiritual discipline of sorts, to make careful provisions for the end of one’s life. Especially people with dependents should have a will and other documents in place in case they pass away unexpectedly. For me, the cold winter months seem like a good time to do some updating and to consider the present state of my life: my highlights and regrets, things I’ve learned, stuff I’d leave behind and things I must tell my loved ones.

Death is obviously a difficult topic to discuss, and I hardly feel ready for it. But since death is intimately tied up with memory, let me start there.

What we value

There were a few deaths close to me that I vividly remember. I lost my mother-in-law when she was only 64, and a study friend with a young family when he was in his late 30s. I remember the immediate family members feeling overwhelmed, but I also remember feeling sustained by God’s power. In fact, these memories still support me and give direction to my life, which is an encouraging thought.

Remembering is also simply fun. There is colour and warmth in memory, and laughter. One of my first dates with Brenda was in Amsterdam, where she lived in the Red Light district. She decided to walk me back to the train station (quite unnecessary, I thought), and we got stuck in the middle of a gay crossdresser festival on the Zeedijk. Huge blokes were dressed in lilac tutus or otherwise next to nothing – it was August. Presumably, Brenda thought me attractive on that day, but she wasn’t the only one. This is a special woman, I thought, as she marched through the crowd without batting an eye, and I followed behind. I still think so.

As of now, we are in wintery Canada, and it feels like anything might happen. Our societies might dissolve in economic disruption, war, climate catastrophe or a form of dictatorship straight out of Orwell’s 1984 – or something truly surprising might happen. It’s not an easy time to be alive. But it should be an excellent time to commit memories and ideas to paper and to share them with others. Why wait till death?

A secret to every life

In a recent Bible study at Willowdale Christian Reformed Church, we talked about death, especially near-death experiences and guidance from angels. The text was Acts 12, which opens with a death – that of James the apostle. It also closes with one, the death of Herod, who thought that as a king, he was close to being a god. The expected death of Peter, however, does not come to pass; to his own surprise, only much later will he die for Christ in Rome. His life, like ours, was “hidden with Christ in God” (Col. 3:3). Perhaps those words sound forbidding to some, but that’s not how I mean them – there is a secret to every life, and a surprise.

Someone said that for the true saints, being dead is an opportunity to continue to do God’s work from a different place. Be that true or not, our world needs strong memories; forces of evil try to suppress memory. May we all be guided and sustained in life, death and remembering by our risen Lord, who holds the mystery of our lives and has the power to bring us all together.