Why leaders stay

Susan met me online for a leadership consultation. We spoke about the Christian charity she used to work for, one of my clients. “How are you doing now that you are done with your role as Director?” I asked. “How is life outside of the ministry? Enjoying yourself? What’s keeping you busy?”

Susan glowed. The change had been a refreshing one, she said, and her responsibilities were so different than when people expected her to be Executive Director, Pastor and a Life Coach for an organization running on a shoestring. Her plate doesn’t seem as full now that she left – and for her, that’s a good thing.

“With this new lease on life, do you look back with any regret about having served in that ministry?” I asked.

“Well, truth be told, I would have stuck with ministry leadership work longer if . . .”

This is precisely the moment in a leadership consultation when I hear two heartfelt responses from faithful Christian ministry leaders like Susan: “If the weight of leadership had been shared, I could have stayed longer.” And, “If the board truly saw me as a person – not just the person who gets things done – I may not have left.”

Shared leadership

Pastors, principals and charity directors frequently carry more weight than is healthy – vision, decisions, implementation and the emotional load of the community. Boards and stakeholders often step back, believing they are giving leaders freedom, but that unintentionally leaves the leader carrying what was meant to be shared. Person-focused leadership can seem efficient for a season, but it inevitably exhausts both the leader and the organization. Jesus himself modelled a better way – distributing authority and responsibility among many, starting with 12 disciples and then 72. Healthy leadership is always shared leadership.

‘If the Board truly saw me . . .’

This second pain grows out of the first. When leadership becomes overly focused on one individual, it becomes easy to forget that the leader has a life, a family and vulnerabilities just like everyone else. Many leaders have told me, with tears, that no one from their board or church even reached out during a hospital stay or a family crisis – while still expecting constant output and decision-making. This lack of care wears down even the strongest shepherd. This is why Jesus’ welcome of Mary (or the unnamed woman) who anointed his feet is such a powerful model. He received care without apology. Leaders need care too – especially in their hardest seasons.

New patterns

Perhaps your own community is feeling some of this tension. The good news is that these patterns can be redeemed and restored. As Canadians, we are “culturally wired” by a propensity for a communal vision of “peace, order and good government,” as it says in the British North America Act. Canadian culture is already inclined toward shared communal responsibility and mutual care. So, let’s bring that instinct into our churches and ministries.

Do your leader a kindness: share the leadership weight, offer genuine care and remember their humanity. Pursuing a biblical model of supportive, distributed leadership is not only wise – it is deeply Christian and deeply Canadian. The result will be a leader who will more than likely stay with the ministry longer and thrive.