Reclaiming emotion in Christian governance
Leading in a Christ-like way requires the courage to feel.
Across Canada, many Christian boards and church councils carry an unspoken expectation: composure equals competence. Especially in governing meetings, and particularly for the most senior staff leader, emotions are often subdued, if not quietly discouraged. The intent is understandable. Boards want clarity, objectivity and wise decision-making. (Have you ever seen a synod or church council fully embrace the hot, angry tears of a speaker?) Yet in the process, something deeply biblical can be lost.
This reflection was sharpened in a recent conversation with a Pregnancy Care Centre. In describing the weight carried by their executive director, the board expressed a simple but profound hope: that they might become not only a governing body, but also a source of care. In a role marked by emotional, spiritual and ethical intensity, they longed to be a board that would hold space for the leader’s emotional well-being – not just oversee her work.
Across a wide range of Christian ministry contexts, this tension continues to surface. Boards desire faithful governance, yet often default to a model that prizes emotional restraint as a sign of control. But Scripture offers a different template.
Jesus’ pattern
Jesus does not lead as a detached executive. He leads as one fully engaged – spiritually, intellectually and emotionally. He expresses anger in the temple (Matt. 21), grief at Lazarus’ tomb (Jn. 11:35), deep distress in Gethsemane (Matt. 26) and joy in the Spirit (Lk. 10:21). These are not lapses in leadership. They are expressions of it. His emotions are never erratic or self-serving; they are purposeful, proportionate and aligned with the will of the Father.
This pattern matters for how we govern and lead today.
When boards unintentionally silence emotion (a tendency often shaped by more “corporate” instincts) they risk more than discomfort; they risk disconnect. A pastor or principal who retreats from expressing concern, urgency or even appropriate frustration may begin to carry those burdens alone. Over time, this isolation can erode trust, limit transparency and hinder the board’s ability to discern what is truly happening in the core of their leader, the church or ministry. There is, however, a more transparent, Christ-like way – one that reflects the One who wept, who overturned tables and who invited others to “watch and pray” with him in his distress (Matt. 26:38).
Healthy governance, particularly in a Christian context, is not about emotional suppression – it is about emotional stewardship.
Expression as a gift
Boards should not function in a singular, distant “professional” mode. At times, they are operational – attending to immediate realities. At other moments, they are strategic – discerning long-term direction. And at key junctures, they turn to policy – adjusting the “ends and means” that shape the life of the organization. In doing so, they create the guardrails that provide safety for everyone.
For leaders, this means expressing emotion in ways that are anchored – naming what is real without overwhelming the room, yet not feeling the need to suppress what may arise in the moment. For boards, it means creating a space where such expression is received not as a loss of control, but as a gift. When a board – often through the leadership of its executive – becomes a safe place for conveying emotion, whether measured or immediate, it fosters deeper trust among key leaders. These moments often reveal underlying pressures, wounds or convictions that might otherwise remain hidden. When acknowledged with care, they do not escalate tension but instead act as a kind of balm, allowing for ongoing health rather than the quiet buildup of strain.
Practically, this requires intention. It may involve naming emotional undercurrents rather than ignoring them. It may require slowing down conversations that feel rushed. It certainly includes prayer. It includes structured and intentional relational involvement with the leader.
As one who has spent countless hours listening to leaders share candidly in ways they would never dare express in front of their boards, I find myself praying for the courage of something different. And in a culture that often equates professionalism with detachment, I am convinced that Christian boards are called to something richer.
To lead with rightly addressed emotion, like Christ, is courageous.
Thank you for strong support for the emotional ‘side’ of people and discussions. Without those ‘sides’ we have control, but lost our humanity, I believe. This piece of writing could be beneficial to read and discuss at staff retreats. Thanks again. Once again, in the midst of a breakdown and a meeting with a select group of a board, I sang part of “Once I Said, ‘I Must Keep Quiet,'” (#39/Psalm 39/Seerveld lyrics) to the group to explain how I felt and got. . . no response. Just blank stares. I was a broken man.