Reformed and romantic

Gretta VanGorkum immigrated to Canada with her family at age seven. She grew up in the Chatham, Ontario area and began her working days at the Bank of Montreal. She soon started dating Bill Heyink, whom she knew through church and youth group. They fell in love, were married and were blessed with a daughter – Andrea. Then tragedy struck the happy family. After an 18-month battle with cancer, Bill passed away. Gretta was now a 28-year-old widow with a two-year-old child.

Those were difficult times, but Gretta and Bill had both come from large families. She was one of seven and Bill was one of twelve. The family and church family made sure Gretta was never lonely and always felt loved. When Andrea started school, she began to pray at bedtime that God would give her a daddy, like all the other kids in her class. Her prayers tugged Gretta’s heartstrings. Apparently, they touched the Lord’s heart, too.

One day early in 1974, Gretta’s friend Aleida pointed out a personal ad in the Calvinist Contact (now Christian Courier). A single gentleman, describing himself as a “fun-loving, but serious Christian” was open to meeting a Christian woman. Gretta began corresponding with the Vermont dairy farmer named Herman Buzeman. Among her first questions she asked him to define what he meant by “fun-loving,” “serious,” and most of all, “Christian.”

One thing she knew for certain – if this man wasn’t a committed Christian there was no reason to carry on. Herman answered her gladly and asked her similar questions in return. The letters went back and forth until Canada Post went on strike. Undaunted, Herman got Gretta’s phone number and the daily calls began.

At first sight

In May, Herman made his first trip to Ontario to meet Gretta and Andrea in person. One of Gretta’s greatest concerns was whether Herman would be able to love Andrea as his own child. He responded sincerely, “I’m quite certain that if the Lord puts love in my heart for you, he will also put love in my heart for your daughter.”

Of their first meeting, Gretta writes, “He was a perfect gentleman. I took him to meet my folks. My mom (a discerning lady) gave her stamp of approval. After lots of conversation it was time for him to take the 11-hour trip back. He invited me to come to Vermont. I told him I had always wanted to see it. He replied, ‘If you’re just coming for the scenery don’t bother.’ That was to the point! Of course, I wanted to meet his family. He was real – a kind, thoughtful and considerate person. How could I not love such a man?”

Herman met the family of Gretta’s first husband. They were happy for her. And Herman promised that every year they would take one vacation as well as make four trips back to Ontario for family visits. No small feat for a busy dairyman.

A new family

And so, on Andrea’s sixth birthday, her prayers were answered. Herman, Gretta and all the people they loved most in the world came together on that day in December 1974 to form a new family.

As soon as Andrea enrolled in school in Vermont, she insisted on taking Herman’s last name, even though the adoption wasn’t finalized until later on. Herman and Gretta welcomed three more children into their fold within the first few years of their marriage – two sisters and a brother for Andrea.

The family celebrated the Buzeman’s golden wedding anniversary a few months ago, gathering on Herman’s 88th birthday. Gretta reflects on their life together, “He was a genuine gift from God! He has remained that for 50+ years. We have been greatly blessed and praise God for his goodness.”

Still finding love

Another romance budded more recently in the classified section of CC.

Valentine’s Day, 2022 – Christian Courier featured a personal ad from Katie Terpstra: “Widow, 70 years young, wishes to meet sincere Christian man for possible relationship.” She found the nerve to try this because some twenty years earlier she had met her previous husband by responding to an ad he had placed. Now, having been a widow for several years, she wanted to connect again with a Christian man.

Art deGroot had lost his first wife to cancer and was also ready at that point to meet someone. When he saw Katie’s ad he wondered for several days if he should respond. At last he decided – why not?

Art’s message reached Katie about ten days after the ad appeared. With some relief she recognized his name as the cousin of her best friend. Armed with a little background information from her friend, Katie felt safe in replying to Art personally. Numerous emails were exchanged and then phone calls. Katie writes, “During one of those phone calls he asked me what my expectations were when I placed the ad. I hesitantly told him that I was hoping for marriage, to which he replied he was looking for companionship and thought marriage too complicated. Looking back, we realize that both of our expectations were met, and yes, second marriages can be complicated.”

The joy of dating

Art and Katie met for the first time about three weeks after their initial contact. Art wasn’t driving at the time due to health issues, but a colleague at work volunteered to take him right to Katie’s door. The wheels were in motion. On Katie’s birthday the following week, Art surprised her with a visit and a huge bouquet of flowers. (Well played, Art!)

They alternated visits in each others’ homes and quickly discovered common ground. Katie says, “We soon learned that we thought alike about many things and felt comfortable sharing about our losses.”

She continues, “After a couple of years of ‘dating’ or ‘hanging out together’ (depending on which era you are from), we were tiring of the weekly hour-long drive and decided to make things more permanent.” With full support of both of their families they began planning their wedding for March of 2024.

Side by side

Katie looks back, “It was a wonderful day but there were a few times in the planning stage I wondered if eloping would have been easier. … We are enjoying this life together and are thankful for this second chance.”

As for Art, when friends ask, “How’s married life?” he tells them, “It’s easy. We just have to invest and invest … and then invest.” He chuckles when he recalls that he hadn’t sent Katie a picture before their first face-to-face meeting, even though she had sent him one. “So, who took the bigger risk?” he says, “Ok, I didn’t look like George Clooney. But we were both ready to invest!”

Now approaching their first wedding anniversary the couple enjoys hiking, long walks and sometimes just sitting side by side, holding hands. Art says, “After years of being alone, we know how to appreciate each other’s company.”

As it happens, Christian Courier is celebrating an anniversary of its own in 2025. First published in 1945, the paper has been delivering “Christ-centred, Creative, Canadian” stories from a reformed perspective for 80 years. It has evolved from a “Canadian paper for Dutch immigrants” into an independent publication focused on redemptive journalism. It aims to “inspire action, build community and influence the culture for Christ.” Along the way the classified section has always served to keep folks connected with each other on a personal level, a precursor to modern social media. God seems pleased to honour that commitment – from answering a little girl’s prayers to uniting Christian hearts in marriage. Who says you can’t be reformed and romantic?