No room for not sure

“You cannot be neutral about this!” 

That was what a senior denominational leader in the Christian Reformed Church (CRC) told me last Spring, during a dispute over an editorial.

I was the editor in chief of the CRC’s magazine, The Banner, until July 2025 when I resigned in protest. In that disputed editorial, I wrote that I was not sure which side of the same-sex marriage debate is theologically correct. But I was not allowed to publish it. Somehow, having the Banner editor admit that he was “not sure” was too dangerous. 

I have theological reservations on both sides of the argument. Hence, I could not “fully affirm without reservations” as required by the CRC’s Synod on its confessional ruling on the interpretation of “unchastity” in the Heidelberg Catechism. Yes, I did file a confessional difficulty gravamen with my church council about this. Although I was theologically not sure, I was pastorally convinced that grace, kindness, gentleness, patience and acceptance are non-negotiable when it comes to journeying with persons who are LGBTQ+. I wait on the Holy Spirit to work with each unique individual, whether straight or gay, in their spiritual journeys.

Hence, in my nine years as editor, I had focused on the “how” we minister and disagree with each other rather than on “what” position we must come down on. But even though I was theologically uncertain, I was willing to publicly submit to the denomination’s official position. I never publicly taught anything that contradicted the denomination’s stance. In fact, I even wrote an article to explain the denomination’s position (“Can You Clarify the Christian Reformed Church’s Position on Homosexuality?” published online Feb. 19, 2024). This aligns with the spirit of a confessional difficulty gravamen. But Synod 2024 changed that too, now adding a time limit of three years for any such gravamen to be resolved. I didn’t know if I could resolve my theological uncertainty in three years when I had already been struggling with it for over six years prior to Synod 2022. I don’t think you can or should put a timetable on the Holy Spirit’s guidance.

Intent vs effect

Last spring, I wanted to be honest with our readers about my uncertainty. But I was told, point-blank, there was no room for neutrality on same-sex marriage. The majority of The Banner Advisory Committee sided with the senior leader and asked me to change the editorial. The revised version was published as “Lament” (published online April 7, 2025).

That was a harbinger of what was to come at Synod 2025 in June. When Synod chose to change The Banner’s mandate, disallowing views that differ from synod’s (which is essentially what it amounts to), I knew I could not continue under such conditions. 

I wrote a “Farewell” editorial (July 7, 2025) outlining three main reasons for resigning. First, I discerned that through this mandate change, God has released me from his calling. Back in 2016, God used three independently acting persons on three consecutive days to nudge me to apply for this job. I felt God called me to an editorial posture of seeking peace by standing in the middle of polarized sides. With the mandate change, middle ground is no longer allowed. 

Secondly, I resigned in protest out of journalistic integrity. I cannot stand for what essentially amounts to censorship, or at the least a curtailment of editorial freedom. Finally, I resigned for the sake of my family, for my wife and daughters who increasingly view the CRC’s position as homophobic and oppressive.

And they are not alone. That is, unfortunately, how the CRC is being perceived. Regardless of intentions, the cumulative effect of the confessional decision on same-sex marriage, the clamping down on “loopholes” in the system with changes to the gravamen process, the heavy-handed disciplinary actions on churches and individual members that disagree, and now the silencing of any dissenting voices from The Banner sends a clear message that there is no room for any disagreement on this matter. In fact, there is no room for even “not sure.”  

For the sake of God’s mission

Obviously, I am sad and disappointed by all this. To some degree, I also mourn. I mourn there is no longer any room in the CRC for people who are not sure, for those who want to be “in the middle.” I mourn at the pain that the CRC has caused, and continue to cause, its members, its baptized children, who are LGBTQ+. I mourn at the grief and sorrow of those CRC members and churches who must leave the denomination over Synod’s decisions.

However, I have hope because I hope in a resurrection God. I am hopeful that God can birth something new for his mission out of the CRC’s fragmentation. In Canada, I am hopeful that all the CRC “orphans” can work together, encourage one another, support each other, towards something missional for God’s kingdom. We need to learn from our pain and grow stronger from it. We need to gain insights from how we have been mistreated so that we do not build churches that hurt but churches that heal. We need to focus together on the “how” we engage each other, even if we cannot fully agree on the “what.” 

It is time to collectively let go of holding on to the CRC of the past, hoping for its return. That is futile, wasting time and energy. Rather, it is time to move forward, humbled by our painful experience, into a new hopeful future filled with possibilities for God’s mission. Let’s focus on that rather than getting bogged down by hyper-fixating on sexuality. I, for one, am moving on for the sake of God’s mission in Canada.