Mirror, mirror, on the wall
The importance of celebrating difference and our Creator's intentional design.
It was a cold morning back in January, as the nurse and I bundled up the girls for a trip to McMaster Children’s Hospital for a scheduled visit. When the appointment ended, we wheeled the girls from the clinic to the large accessible washroom that includes an adult-sized change table. The intentional design with the hospital’s infrastructure means there’s room for all four of us in that bathroom!
After Rachel was freshened up, we placed her in her wheelchair to wait for Janneke to have a turn. I tucked Rachel in her wheelchair off to the side of the table, so we could transfer Janneke safely. As we settled Janneke, I happened to glance at Rachel. To my surprise, she was grinning ear to ear – at herself. I hadn’t realized earlier, but I placed Rachel’s wheelchair in front of the large mirror. Because this was an accessible washroom, the mirror on the wall was larger and closer to the ground than the typical public bathroom mirror. And Rachel, sitting in her wheelchair, was able to take in her whole self, chair and hair. The look on her face suggested she was pleased with what she saw.
Lookin’ good, kid
As we worked with Janneke, the nurse and I took turns looking over at Rachel and noticed she shifted from looking directly at the mirror to turning her head to the side and giving a side-eyed peek at the mirror, all while wearing a smirk. This kid was having fun. At that moment I realized, after 18 years, I hadn’t given much thought to whether or not Rachel knew what she looked like, or if she even wanted to see herself in a mirror.
Normalize difference
Later that evening, as I scrolled through the news, I learned about a movie that has caught the attention of international film festivals called A Different Man. It’s a dark comedy psychological thriller about difference, love and acceptance featuring British actor Adam Pearson. He lives with neurofibromatosis, a condition where tumours grow on the nervous system. In Adam’s case, the tumours present on his face, creating visible disfigurement. Though the movie has already garnered awards, I am more intrigued by Pearson’s real life story, and his experience as someone who is challenging disfigurement stigma.
To be seen and known
It’s possible for some of us, when we look in the mirror, that we aren’t just seeing a physical reflection, but we are also taking in the experience of what we think we look like, what we wish we looked like, and what we might be trying to hide. What was Rachel seeing as she played with her reflection in that hospital bathroom? I hope I don’t forget that memory of watching her take delight in her reflection. I want it to remind me of the importance of celebrating difference and our Creator’s intentional design.
I am not entirely comfortable with the phrase, “our Creator’s intentional design.” It begs the question of what we can rightly attribute to God. Are we suggesting, as an example, that terminal cancer in a child is the Creator’s intentional design? Is schizophrenia the Creator’s intentional design. I distinguish between God’s deliberative will or what he directly and intentionally causes, and his permissive will or what he allows to take place. We are all, of course, created in the image and likeness of God, but this image and likeness is not physical. It has nothing to do with our appearance or what we look like.
Thank you, Sara for these great reminders through your touching story. I wonder if we can imagine how God sees us as dearly loved children of his?