Less stuff, more life

Then he (Jesus) said to them, ‘Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions’ (Luke 12:15).

A handful of years ago I heard about Swedish Döstädning when I read Marareta Magnusson’s book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. I was intrigued. As the oldest of my 10 kids started leaving the house, the thought of having my home the way I wanted it, with less stuff, made me almost giddy.

Here’s how it works: people my age, those of us entering the empty nest phase, are encouraged to take a closer look at our stuff. The main question is not “Does it spark joy?” but “Do I use it?” If you don’t, then it needs to find a new home. I started doing this and the results were so freeing.

I began to realize that everything I had talked to me, not audibly, but in a roundabout way. The “voices” were saying: Clean me. Fix me. Water me. Look at me. Hold me. All of this stuff could be noisier than raising 10 kids. Realizing this made it easier to give things to my kids who were starting out or to others who needed it. 

You wouldn’t believe how much trash I found in the cupboards and drawers. But then came the next step, getting rid of the things I don’t use anymore. I might need it someday, right?

All we really need

My husband Jim was diagnosed with cancer in April 2020, the same cancer as Terry Fox. We struggled as we walked this new journey but we knew God was there. We became very aware that God was all we needed. Jim walked his journey well, making helpful decisions for those of us who were left behind before he went to be with his Lord and Saviour in March of 2022 at the early age of 54.

Now the kids and I were on our own. Almost everything around us reminded us of Jim. That old mug had a memory attached. So did that T-shirt with the funny saying. A deck of cards. A toy tractor. If it didn’t have a strong memory for me, it probably did for my kids. What do I do now? Did we need all these things to remember Jim? Now the “voices” were saying: Remember when?

One day, I sat down, reflecting on 2 Corinthians 4:18, So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. I asked myself, “If the house was on fire, what would I take? What five things would I grab to remind me of Jim?” Even though I realized that nothing here mattered, I did want to have something to remember him for the time God still needed me here on earth. It did not take long to come up with my legacy list; our rings, the last necklace he gave me, my charm bracelet, and some pictures of him. It was then that I realized I could let the rest go to bless others. 

Next, I asked my kids what they wanted. If I wasn’t using it now, I gave it to them. If I was using it, I made note of what they wanted, and when I was ready to part with it, I gave it to them. For some things, like his John Deere tractor collection, I offered each child one but they asked me to keep them on the shelf so they could still see a part of Dad when they came home to visit.

It would have been easier to go through stuff before he passed, before everything achieved sentimental status. It took days to go through the garage, his domain. It would have freed up so much time if he had done it earlier when it was easier and the tears didn’t come with everything I picked up. How many hammers does one guy need anyway? Or outlet covers. Why, when we get something new, do we throw the old ones or even the packaging back in the drawer or tote? We have just doubled (with packaging, tripled) our inventory.

Better one handful than two 

Do you realize how much time it will take for your family to go through your stuff? These days, I continue practicing Swedish Döstädning, only keeping what I use. And remembering that a few pretty things are useful too. They make me smile. As I make it through each cupboard and drawer, I am ruthless, reminding myself that if I’m not using it then they don’t have to deal with it when I’m gone. We all know we can’t take any of it with us.

Ecclesiastes 4:6 says, Better one handful with tranquillity than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind. By emptying my hands of so much stuff I am now able to live a less stressful life. Being able to clean my house in a fraction of the time enables me to spend more time with the Lord and doing his work. Whether that is studying his Word, encouraging others to prepare for their time with the Lord, or visiting family and friends. Let’s not forget how delightful it is to find what I’m looking for because my drawers are no longer packed to overflowing.

Life should be about relationships and showing God’s love. How can we do that when we are too busy with our stuff? Or when our stuff takes over so we don’t have room, or feel uncomfortable about inviting people over. Keep only what you need today. Your family will thank you, you will be grateful and God will be honoured.