Growing up in a warzone
New Hope helps Ukrainian families cope with the stress of living under Russian bombardment.
The deafening sounds and scary sights of the war in Zaporizhzhia, Ukraine, are taking a toll on parents and children – especially as the conflict grinds on toward its fifth year.
“When you go into the city, you can hear the sound of sirens. You can see that people are a little bit tense or worried,” says Tatiana, a mother who is raising a teenage son and young daughter with her husband, who is not healthy, on the outskirts of the city. For the sake of their security, Christian Courier is only using their first names.
“You see lots of military people around. You think maybe it is a horror movie or something.”
Sadly, it is not a movie.
In December, Zaporizhzhia was about 40 kilometres from the contact line, where the Ukrainian army was trying to hold off the Russian military from gaining more territory. Missiles fell in parts of the city every few days, usually at night.
Living with stress
The stress is very hard on parents and children, according to psychologists at New Hope Center, an organization that offers emotional support for families. New Hope is one of a dozen Mennonite Central Committee (MCC) partner organizations in Ukraine that have continued to address physical, emotional or spiritual needs throughout the war.
The more stressed that parents become, the less patience they have with their children, says Ira, a psychologist for adults at New Hope. Children feel that stress, which adds to their own sense of insecurity from the war. When they act out, parents are embarrassed, causing more stress.
“Children are losing out on their childhoods, beginning to behave like miniature adults,” says Kateryna, a psychologist for children at New Hope. They talk about the war like they are grown-ups, she says.
When parents recognize that they and their children are struggling, they can come to New Hope for free emotional support and guidance. The staff offer children art and play therapy, sensory activities and training on emotional regulation. Parents can join support groups and participate in individual or family counselling.
That safe space is very different from the streets of the city.
“We are trying to heal the brokenhearted,” says Maxym, the long-time director of New Hope who also pastors a Mennonite Brethren Church in Zaporizhzhia. “We must help those in danger. We share love.”
One parent’s story
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Tatiana came to New Hope to get help with the fear, anxiety and panic she was experiencing personally, especially regarding her children’s safety. She joined a women’s support group led by Ira. While the group meets, her 4-year-old daughter, Polina, attends children’s activities.
“For me, it’s personal,” says Tatiana, who has been coming weekly since February 2025. “My kid is in good hands for an hour, hour and a half, and I can take care of myself, be in a women’s circle, and share.”
She has also learned more about how to relate to her children, especially her teenage son.
“At New Hope Center, you can learn how to talk to your kids, how to connect with them better,” Tatiana says. “[The staff] are wonderful people. They care about others.”
Addressing shame
New Hope has 15 employees with varying levels of professional training in dealing with people in trauma.
Ira works primarily with parents who are struggling to raise their children during a war. “The first thing I tell the parents is that if [they] are calm and stable, then they can share this calmness and stability with their children,” she says.
For example, she met with a mother and father who were worried their child had a psychological disorder because he was acting so aggressively. His parents found him unmanageable at times.
In addition, they were taking in the judgment of society and of their extended family when he misbehaved. They carried with them the sense that they were not good parents, perhaps had even failed as parents, or even failed as people.
In therapy, she first worked with the couple to express their emotions and learn to calm themselves. She helped them understand children’s common responses to the stress of war and how to respond to their children’s intense emotions. They talked about how to cope with others’ judgment.
“Before the war, people were able to handle most issues,” Ira says. “With the war, all the emotions and feelings are amplified. There is a secondary trauma that happens to people – the explosions, the air alerts, blood from people being killed.”
Children’s emotions are intensified by the war, says Kateryna, who offers individual and group therapy for children. “If they had some issues with, for example, anger, the war increased this problem, so it makes everything worse. If you have some anxiety, it increases their anxiety.”
To help the children learn to cope, she teaches them about emotions and engages them in activities that help them express their feelings.
Healing through play
One tool Kateryna and other leaders use is a sensory room that children can explore through free play. It has soft furniture, a ball pit and massaging mats. Teachers can control sounds, music and lighting.
“Maybe his body is blocked because of loud noises and is very tense. The exercise and games they play help him relax his body,” Kateryna says.
Or the opposite can be true, she says. If the kid comes and he is hyperactive, he can jump there and release some of his energy. Dance music, whether somatic or energetic, teaches children to match their movements to the song’s emotion.
Giving children a safe place to be active, relax, create, express feelings and have simple conversations about the future builds resilience in the face of war and creates new positive memories, Kateryna says. “Some kids, I actually am amazed [at] how they are strong.”
Tatiana says her daughter runs to join the children’s activities, while she looks forward to her support group. Over time, she’s learned to share openly and honestly. As she listens to Ira and the other women, some of whose situations are worse than her own, her perspective on her own life changes.
“You come here, and you feel in a safe space [with] nice, friendly people,” Tatiana says. “It gives a feeling of hope that you believe in the future, that it exists. Yes, life can be difficult, but also it can be beautiful at the same time. You just have a day, and you live it.”
Editor’s Note: Since this article was written, Tatiana and her family moved to Denmark because she decided the nearby explosions were too dangerous for her children. For those who can’t move, New Hope’s doors remain open.
