From grief to community
Finding community after loss.
How do we turn our pain, our losses and disappointments around and allow God to reveal his greater purpose in them? We work hard, make our plans and try to put all the pieces together. We experience success and accomplishments, mixed with failures and disappointment and then, somewhere along the way, we learn that we are not in control at all. As Chuck Swindoll explains so beautifully, “The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.”
After the loss of my husband, I asked God to take my grief and turn it inside out. What could he do with the broken pieces? Slowly, God began to open my eyes to the needs of people around me. I had lived so long in the comfort and safety of married life, where many of my needs were lovingly cared for. I was not in a place to truly see or understand the loneliness, struggles and realities of life as a single person.
Life in lockdown
My journey began the summer of 2021, a time when our world was locked down and we could no longer gather freely with fellow believers. I found myself longing for connection and community with others on a similar journey. I needed something life-giving again: a hike, a bike trip, a canoe adventure, an opportunity to bring people together so we would feel alive in such a desolate time.
My first adventure began when I connected on Facebook with a group of Christian singles who lived four hours from my home. They invited me to join them on a camping trip in Forest, Ontario, at Lakewood Christian Campground. Years earlier, after first committing my life to the Lord, I had worked at this camp for a summer. It felt significant that God would call me back to that very place so many years later, during such a difficult season of life.
The friendships and encouragement I found at Lakewood inspired me to begin a Christian singles group closer to home. Our barn, which once was a youth hangout when my husband and I served together as youth leaders, became the perfect gathering place. Its openness met the requirements for hosting up to 50 people.
This was the beginning of an unexpected journey, building a Christ-centred community for Christian singles across southeastern Ontario. What began as grief, loneliness and uncertainty slowly became something filled with connection, healing, friendship and renewed purpose.
Seasons, together
In the five years since then, we have built lasting friendships, shared many meaningful hiking adventures, canoe trips, camping weekends, square dances, a Passover meal, potlucks, game nights and evenings around campfires. But the biggest blessing for me was learning from others who had walked journeys I had never personally known or understood.
Through their stories, God began opening my eyes and softening my heart. These friends have become some of my greatest teachers. Through them, I discovered that loss can deepen compassion, suffering can produce wisdom, and the broken places can become places where God reveals greater meaning and purpose.
It’s beautiful to see God bring pure joy through our trials just as James so clearly lays out (Jas.1:2-4). What once felt like the end of life became the beginning of a deeper understanding of God, of people and of the healing that can come when we walk through difficult seasons together.
