Eulogy for a Friend

Recently, I had the privilege of speaking at the funeral of my good friend Mary McKay. Mary courageously lived with a lung disease for more than 20 years. Here’s an abbreviated version of the eulogy.

Seventeen years ago, our church sign read: “The Lord is my shepherd.” Some of us were praying that God would let the words catch people’s attention and draw them in.

One day, a woman who was grieving the death of her beloved mother in Scotland came by the church on her scooter and saw the sign with a verse that meant so much to her. 

That woman was Mary.

Mary came the following Sunday. When I talked to her, she shared her grief. She mentioned how the words on the sign had drawn her in. Then I talked about our prayers that God would use the sign to bring people in. We were delighted at this discovery!

When her health allowed it, Mary was involved in many church activities. She belonged to our women’s Bible study group and prayed for the women. 

Having known poverty and hardships, Mary developed a compassionate heart that saw beyond people’s circumstances. She knew what each had in common: they were created by God and deserved to be treated with dignity. 

Mary was kind, but she was nobody’s fool! If someone tried to take advantage of her, or hurt someone she cared about, she would rise up to protect, shelter and love. Hers was a fierce and fearless heart! 

Mary loved much, but she loved her husband John best. Her mother had worried that their marriage would fail because of their youth. But it didn’t. There were struggles. But what marriage doesn’t have struggles? 

Mary and John were storytellers – and funny! The storytelling could go on for hours and the laughter eventually turned into howling hilarity till our sides ached and tears ran down our faces. It seemed that funny things just happened to John and Mary. Or maybe it was just that they took the stuff of life – the stuff we all go through every day – and they saw the humour in it. And they were able to laugh at themselves.

INTO PRAYER
But laughter was hard to come by when John was diagnosed with cancer. Mary was shattered. But God gave her strength. She became John’s fierce and fearless advocate.
Through it all, Mary prayed, not only for the healing of John’s body, but also for the healing of his soul. She wanted John to know Jesus. She never forced her beliefs on him. She waited and prayed. Then one day, Jesus helped John see his need for him.

When John died, Mary grieved deeply. But she was grateful to God that John experienced some good days and that he died at home. She was comforted because John was with Jesus.

Prayer was like breath to Mary. It was a God-given gift. And did she pray for people! Mary often said to me when she became aware of needs, “I go into prayer.” 

One day, Mary pulled over in her scooter onto someone’s driveway to pray. Time passed. She didn’t notice till a man asked what she was doing on his driveway. I’m not sure how he reacted when she said she was praying!

One more thing: Mary was a sinner like all of us. A sinner saved by God’s grace. She was a broken person and she knew it. She often felt a deep unworthiness, but she learned that God delights in his children and he loves it when they delight in him. 

Mary often said that she lived in anticipation of what God would do next. Now, she has all eternity to enjoy God and to satisfy her insatiable curiosity about him. Mary is breathing freely – in and out, in and out – in the perfect presence of Jesus!