Coming to Canada after growing up in Brazil
Judgement and love in religious communities — and how it affects those involved.
When I was a kid, all the video games I played were in English. My parents, who didn’t speak the language, gave me a dictionary so I could search for the words. All my knowledge of English came from spending many afternoons after school playing Pokémon, Zelda and Final Fantasy. Without realising it, at some point I could read, write and listen without difficulty.
When I moved to Canada for my studies, however, the barriers started to appear. My English was good; the problem was vocabulary. I could ask where my classroom was but I couldn’t share stories from my life.
It’s normal for international students to feel out of place. Even though I made use of my college’s support program and counsellors, I couldn’t even tell them much simply because I didn’t have the proper vocabulary. When you’re not speaking in your mother language, it can be difficult to elaborate beyond the basics.
In addition to verbal communication, the clash between cultures was also huge for me. In Brazil, we talk a lot more about our personal lives, and consequently we also ask a lot about others’ personal lives. One of the biggest culture shocks here was when someone at work was sick, I asked what they had and my boss said, “this is none of your concern.” Where I came from, we ask this question to show we care about the person. Here, it’s seen as invasive and inconvenient.
Even in a religion that – in theory – is the same in both places, I noticed differences. Christianity in Brazil, in my experience, has become too tied to politics, and the hate and intolerance demonstrated by politicians like Bolsonaro has had a negative impact on churches.
When I was a kid, there was this girl at church who liked to play with the boys. While the other girls played with their dolls and makeup, she would skateboard and play soccer with the boys. The other girls gossiped about her and bullied her, once locking her in the men’s restroom because “God would not like to see a girl not being feminine.” Eventually she stopped attending church. Some time after that, I quit as well. I tried to go to different ones, but all of them had the same principles. I continued to study the Bible by myself and with my grandmother, but I didn’t feel comfortable going to religious places as well.
The act of judging others goes right against the book of Matthew 7:1-2, where it says “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
When I moved to Canada and started attending my college’s Christian Club, I was a little apprehensive due to the past experiences in Brazil. However, things were quite different here. The topics of the meetings were based on love and how we can make the world a better place. There was no one saying who “deserves” to hear the word of God. In a place like this, my childhood friend from church might feel more loved. Being in a place where you are welcome and loved makes a huge difference both in feeling OK about yourself and having your faith restored.
