Forbidden words

On the ground, feeling like I had been shot in the leg, I kept repeating one word: “sh*t.” I had just badly pulled my calf muscle exiting the batter’s box in senior softball. This would end my play for a few weeks. I was frustrated. Was it okay to express my frustration like this?

I was forbidden to swear as a child. If my father swore, it was often in Dutch. Richard Mouw, former Calvin professor and Fuller Seminary president, tells a story of his flight being cancelled. A man ahead of him mutters, “Sh*t.” Later, Mouw sees him praying with his wife at the airport Burger King. Mouw asks if they are Christian Reformed. Surprised, they say “yes.” Mouw told them that CRC people were the only ones he knew to both swear and pray in public.

Swearing on the golf course

There are still seven words one cannot say on network television (George Carlin joked about that), but cable TV and movies are filled with vulgarities. Once forbidden words are commonly heard in public.

When I golf with new partners, they often ask about my background. I indicate that I have been a teacher and a preacher. Then I quickly assure them that I am a preacher who believes in swearing on the golf course. They relax.

I do not really swear. Swearing is to take the Lord’s name in vain. I do not curse: that is to use abusive words against another person. I do not speak profanity, which mocks that which is holy. At times I use a few vulgarities – uncultured words of the common folk (vulgar comes from the Latin word for “common”) as expressions of frustration or anger. You probably do, too. Should we feel guilty about this?

Inappropriate language

I have been taught that Ephesians 5:4 rules out this language: “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” “Obscene” language is that which is to be used “off scene,” because otherwise it would drive people away, “be repulsive.” “Foolish” talk is exactly that which is unfitting for a given context. “Coarse joking” is sexual, derogatory and abusive; therefore, inappropriate.

What’s the context?

At times vulgarities are appropriate. One must know the context: that it fits the situation and how you want to present yourself. It is appropriate at times to be frustrated and angry when evil happens. When pain comes, it is okay to give expression to it. When one hits a bad golf shot, one can express frustration. It is appropriate to let others see that even preachers get frustrated, but we need to know our context of whether it humanizes us or offends others.

Paul in Ephesians (cf. also Col. 3:8) is giving moral wisdom instruction. This is different from “moralism.” Moralism imposes strict laws to judge others and induce guilt. Well, heck, we can be wise in our use of vulgarities.