Ryan’s rays
One of reasons I am motivated to write about my daughters and their disability is the desire to give colour and depth to what otherwise seems like a charcoal sketch of their reality.
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Held
De realiteit van Rachel en Janneke’s handicap – en mijn eigen menselijke zwakheid – is duidelijk in hun meer intieme dagelijkse momenten, zoals baden, aankleden of veranderen.
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Held
Caring full-time for completely dependent loved ones wears on the body and the soul. Whether it is providing the needs and support for a child or a loved one who has dementia, there is significant physical and emotional impact for the caregiver and the one receiving care. Sometimes that impact can lead to a posture of tension rather than tenderness.
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Vulnerable life
As a mom to two medically-fragile daughters and two neurotypical daughters, I am aware of what is projected as ideal developmental milestones. I’m also aware that when we view disability only through the lens of a medical model, we see disability as a problem that doesn’t meet milestones and has a preconceived trajectory requiring treatment. The disability needs to be fixed.
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Refining hope
All of these experiences serve to remind me our anticipation is limited by our human inability to know all and see all. We anticipate what we know. We anticipate what we think we need. We anticipate what we wish.
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A sense of wonder
I suppose my wonderment is one of the biggest reasons I am determined to take them outside as often as possible for walks on trails or the neighbourhood sidewalks.
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Giving thanks
As an adult, I probably spend more time asking and less time thanking, frustrated over the things or circumstances I’ve received but don’t appreciate.
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On being slow
I am reminded slowing down isn’t always terrible. The quiet silence in that slow moment can be quite beautiful.
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The eyes have it
How do you address my girls, particularly if they don’t have direct eye gaze?
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The power of story
However you choose to celebrate Canada’s 150th – with a cake parade, fireworks, or a camping trip – look for the stories.
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Inspired to bowl
For me, May inspires more of a creeping melancholia alongside the mirth. May brings Mother’s Day and Rachel’s birthday (May 4), and though both days are wonderful, they are also bittersweet.
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Parking space grace
The unlikeliest types tend to be great helpmates for our family. More than once, I have received help from someone who I wouldn’t think to ask.
